Marry when you’re ready and not because of convenience

The reasons for the spike in divorce, marriages of convenience and adultery are many. There are some keys reasons why the trend is becoming more fashionable and this is because individuals are marrying out of lust, pride, convenience, despair and societal norms as well as pressures from parents and from their friends. Individuals, ought to marry when they are ready to settle down and commit whole-heatedly to one spouse for their entire lives. You should marry at the right time, right place and by the right authority.It is becoming very common even in Africa to have arrangements where a man and a woman live together out the bonds of wed-lock to help each meet the demands of food, rent and hydro. In the process of living together- everyone becomes comfortable with the whole idea of not committing anything in  terms of respect for one’s name, family and one’s body. The best thing to do in this case would be for the man to take ‘responsibility’ and to meet the parents of his girlfriend  and show his commitment to making her a wife. Due to being shy, the ‘wife’ to-be keeps dodging the serious question to ask  her ‘man’, “Dear, when will you introduce me to your folks and family and also meet my side?” To which the ‘man’ shrugs of in a sigh, walks away or continues watching his favorite Arsenal match.

In this state of confusion, two things are bound to happen either ‘fight’ or ‘flight’. The couple will either fight and the women will hold on with the expression, ‘Oh, I love him and I know he will change eventually”. So she keeps on enduring the verbal, non-verbal and at-times sexual abuse. The second thing that happens is that both individuals decide to part ways. Sometimes, it’s  because the women has become pregnant and decides to raise the child as a single mother while not so Prince Charming anymore comes to the stark reality that he now can’t man-up—– so… out through the door he runs never to be seen or heard from again! Other times- everyone- just wants their own space and living apart would be the only best viable option.

I go back to my earlier case, please marry when you’re ready and not because of convenience! Marry your best friend, the one that knows all your secrets and will keep them as such. Marry someone who will encourage you to become your best self, marry someone who makes up for what you lack for in brains or in beauty or in wisdom. Oh, alas…….. marry someone who respects God because he will in turn respect everything else that has been created by Him especially you.